Today is one of the few days I feel like writing, lets attempt to make the best of it.
Second Life.....it feels like swallowing an entire can of dry tuna fish in one ill-advised gulp. Why would I choke down old albacore? Because I'm too cheap to buy a meal plan and it seemed like a good idea at the time. In any case, if that analogy were accurate, the whole harrowing experience would end one giant, bone-crushingly explosive .....
In Second Life, your unmolested avatar enjoys an androgyny envied by David Bowie. If Second Life aimed to further social progress or incubate new business models, this sexlessness would be an asset, since it eliminates gender bias. Imagine a world of androgynous agents, each blind to the other's actual inadequacies, purely pragmatic in their behavior. It's beautiful, in a bleeding-heart, sociology major type of way.
Unfortunately, the virtual sex industry is alive and wel. Sure, you may be a mouthbreathing needledick in real life, but in Second Life it costs mere pennies to equip yourself with a massive member Ron Jeremy would envy.
The digital penis industry is thriving. The sheer size of it must merit some special server-side attention. I believe that somewhere, ensconced within the vast, gelatinous bureaucracy of Linden Labs, there lives a neckbearded programmer. With hairy palms and oily skin, he furiously designs, tests, and optimizes a penile physics engine. Just thinking about this is making me sick.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Poor people.
As many of you may know, I am an ardent industrialist and wealthy capitalist entrepreneur. I have built my business empire on the back of those who we know only as the poor. This underclass, while often talked about is actually not well known to anyone, so I have taken the liberty of describing these noble people to those of us unaffiliated with them. I will state common misconceptions about the poor, and then systematically destroy these preconceived notions through sound logic.
Misconception #1: The poor are just like us.
The truth: The poor are not just like us. They tend to have a distinct odor which I believe comes from swollen glands, a condition usually associated with the consumption of wonder bread and government cheese. They are also incapable, both physically and mentally of dealing with the strain of communicating with the GPS in a Bentley, or even a BMW 7-series.
Misconception #2: The poor are poor because the society we live in has created exploitative systems which do nothing but undermine their ability to become prosperous.
The truth: The truth is that the poor are poor because they are probably immigrants. I mean there are like 40 million immigrants in the United States and there are also like 35 million poor people. This must mean that all poor people are immigrants, but not all immigrants are poor. The logic looks like this. A = B, which means that B =! A, which obviously means that A and B = C. If you are unfamiliar with the rigidity of logic, you should assume that you could be one of them.
Misconception #3: Poverty is a cycle that is incredibly hard to break.
The truth: Poverty is not a cycle, poverty is hereditary. The top scientists of the nation of Tuvalu, world famous for its internet domain name, have concluded that there is a gene which does not allow certain people to become wealthy. Gene therapy is available, granted that the Russians can collect enough unborn Chinese immigrant stem cells to create a viable colony.
Misconception #4 If we only begin to redistribute wealth the poor would all become wealthy.
The hereditary genetic inferiority of the poor would never allow them to become wealthy. They would undoubtedly squander money, even if it is freely given to them, on trivial matters such as food and healthcare for their kids. This would only propagate their inferior genetic stock.
What is to be done?
The poor are as you can see a necessary evil. They exist in a fashion that is unfit for the dogs in some of our homes. There must be a way to make them more docile. I recommend that we implement massive social engineering. It is necessary to make them believe that they too can become as prosperous as us. I will delegate this matter to PR.
Thank you for your time.
Misconception #1: The poor are just like us.
The truth: The poor are not just like us. They tend to have a distinct odor which I believe comes from swollen glands, a condition usually associated with the consumption of wonder bread and government cheese. They are also incapable, both physically and mentally of dealing with the strain of communicating with the GPS in a Bentley, or even a BMW 7-series.
Misconception #2: The poor are poor because the society we live in has created exploitative systems which do nothing but undermine their ability to become prosperous.
The truth: The truth is that the poor are poor because they are probably immigrants. I mean there are like 40 million immigrants in the United States and there are also like 35 million poor people. This must mean that all poor people are immigrants, but not all immigrants are poor. The logic looks like this. A = B, which means that B =! A, which obviously means that A and B = C. If you are unfamiliar with the rigidity of logic, you should assume that you could be one of them.
Misconception #3: Poverty is a cycle that is incredibly hard to break.
The truth: Poverty is not a cycle, poverty is hereditary. The top scientists of the nation of Tuvalu, world famous for its internet domain name, have concluded that there is a gene which does not allow certain people to become wealthy. Gene therapy is available, granted that the Russians can collect enough unborn Chinese immigrant stem cells to create a viable colony.
Misconception #4 If we only begin to redistribute wealth the poor would all become wealthy.
The hereditary genetic inferiority of the poor would never allow them to become wealthy. They would undoubtedly squander money, even if it is freely given to them, on trivial matters such as food and healthcare for their kids. This would only propagate their inferior genetic stock.
What is to be done?
The poor are as you can see a necessary evil. They exist in a fashion that is unfit for the dogs in some of our homes. There must be a way to make them more docile. I recommend that we implement massive social engineering. It is necessary to make them believe that they too can become as prosperous as us. I will delegate this matter to PR.
Thank you for your time.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Blog #8 A Second life trip
Last night I went to see the Virtual Hallucination simulation that has been developed by UC Davis. The Hallucination simulator has been designed to give us a better understanding of what it feels like to have schizophrenia. Based on the stories of two people who have schizophrenia. The simulator aims to provide an auditory and visual experience that simulates how schizophrenics see and hear the world.
To my mind this is a earning experience for anyone attempting to be a in the health care filed who might occasional work with mentally ill patients. The simulator starts off with you walking into a hospital. All of a sudden you hear voices telling you that your "worthless" and that you need to "kill yourself now." Objects appear in front of you out of thin air, such as guns a and the grim reaper. Looking into mirrors produces a image of a skeleton, and the voices in your head tells you the hospital staff is out to get you. The floor turns into the sky, and you are deathly afraid of falling.
This simulator is a is a excellent idea for the use of second life in education. It give students an experience they can't have any other way.
To my mind this is a earning experience for anyone attempting to be a in the health care filed who might occasional work with mentally ill patients. The simulator starts off with you walking into a hospital. All of a sudden you hear voices telling you that your "worthless" and that you need to "kill yourself now." Objects appear in front of you out of thin air, such as guns a and the grim reaper. Looking into mirrors produces a image of a skeleton, and the voices in your head tells you the hospital staff is out to get you. The floor turns into the sky, and you are deathly afraid of falling.
This simulator is a is a excellent idea for the use of second life in education. It give students an experience they can't have any other way.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
